this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
