Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
