i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
