He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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