im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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