I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Terrible idea I love it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
