you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize