but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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