WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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