i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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