Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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