he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
