I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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