It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
