dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
