I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
