Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
