The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
