i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
