dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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