I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
did you just send me my own nude
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize