Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
