operation have a gay friend backfired
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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