i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
