did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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