you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
