She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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