i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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