my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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