I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
