hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
