oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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