I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Someone came in the potted fern
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
