I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
