no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
