I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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