Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize