Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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