mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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