so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
