the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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