he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
