i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
