the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Randomize
