I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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