i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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