This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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