Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
