This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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