Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
