I'm really into asian looking animals
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
