i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
