i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize