Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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