Soap is not a condiment
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
