Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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