I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
