It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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