I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
